A Tale of Two Frances
Welcome to Sincerely Yours! A podcast for the audience about the audience, let me introduce myself and a very good friend of mine. Enjoy!
A Tale of Two Frances:
Intro: Now introducing Sincerely Yours (intro music)
Welcome to the very first episode of Sincerely Yours. Now this is definitely a work in progress but something I’ve been wanting to put together for a while. I’m actually a huge huge fan of podcast. And if you definitely know me this is something that is well know about me. I discovered podcast about a year ago and have completely transformed my life. And so, obviously I want to provide something and produce something that has in a way given me such a benefit in my life to help people and benefit their lives. So the idea is that the show will be put together and be for the audience. I just want to have regular people, just normal people going through just telling like what they’re having problems with, what the want to change, what they need assistance with and hopefully I can provide some kind of direction or be some good advice or anything basically, and kind of reflection whatsoever. I obviously have gone through many things, and I got through with college around six years ago and so the first three years, I worked in not ideal situations. I decided to put my foot down and I ended up saving and completely changed my life, and I ended up moving to the south of France. That might sound somewhat impressive, but at the time I was so done with everything that was going on, in my apartment in my love life in my apartment, in my work life. I was just saying “ I just give up, I just give up, I just need to go to a different setting a different location”. I was very fortunate that I made it happen. So coming back, I was there for about 8 months, so coming back I decided that absolutely everything was different. I had to find a new job, I was fortunate to move back in to my apartment, but with new roommates, new living situation. With everything being different, it definitely puts in a reflection of things. Noticing how things are different, and in a way you can notice a lot more, being on the other end of things. And so, it can definitely be better, with slight changes, things will improve.
That is what I am essentially trying to put together for sincerely yours. I have a friend of mine, who was very fortunate, we met at an old job of mine, but she ended up moving back last year. Obviously we were so so close, we spent so much time together. She made it happen where she was able to move back. I have here interviewed and I will touch back with you guys later.
Cece: hello Sidra
Sidra: Hi Cece
Cece:How are you? ( Laughing)
Sidra: I’m good thanks ( laughing)
Cece: Thank you for podcasting with me
Sidra: You’re very welcome
Cece: So I just wanted to get a feel of what you’ve done before, what your doing now, what you're planning on doing, could you go through a time line, a little background.
Sidra: Ok so, I’m Sidra and I’m moving to France ( cece background YAY) for the second time. The first time I moved to France I don’t think I was really prepared. I just kind of decided i’m going to move to France and I just saved as much money as I could live without. That meant cutting thing that weren’t a necessity, like, extra cable, and getting rid of my car, and stopped eating out, and stop going to socialize and you know everything, cutting back. It was just major pear down mode that first time around. Just every single extra cent I had was toward moving to France and I packed my bags, and on August 31st 2011, and I took off. I decided at that moment in time that I wasn’t going to come back to America …
Cece: Four years later…
Sidra: And four years later on August 2014, I moved back to America, and here it is almost August of 2015, and I’m moving back again. And this time I’m much more prepared. I think the difference between the this time and the last time is just knowing. The first time you don't really know. You go in completely naked. You have no idea, what it is, you’re like a new born, especially for me.
Cece: Exactly, you have no idea what prepared is.
Sidra: No, and especially for me. So many people got the experience to live away from home throughout their young adulthood, and I never lived away from home. I didn’t go live on campus at college, I didn’t go study abroad. I was raised with the most gentle raising anyone could have. My parents were always around, there was nothing that I needed that I couldn’t have that one of my parents couldn’t provide for me. So I never had to do anything for myself. It was always like : Can I have a ride, sure. Can I have the car, sure. No is not apart of the Sidra vernacular of things that I want and I need. So moving to France, you had to reaclimate yourself with being told no, and how to deal with that as an adult, which is surprisingly difficult. When you’re so accustomed to being told yes yes yes yes yes, its incredibly mind opening, when someone tells you know you can’t have it: the answer as a child is always why, as an adult, you’re like what do you mean wait, I can’t have it.
Cece: That doesn’t make sense
Cece: back then what was the initial driving force to get you to France.
Sidra: I went to France on holiday, for ten days, I have family there. my aunt lives in France, and I visited her, and Paris is just, its captivating. There’s just nothing else in the world like it. Its just to me the most captivating space in the entire world. Granted I haven’t seen the entire world, but every corner of paris is something. Just ten days changed my entire life. If I had never went on that trip, if I had never did it; and it wasn’t a trip I had planned to go on, because I was supposed to go in April for a week, and because the volcano erupted, I ended up going for two weeks in July.
Cece: The Icelandic volcano?
Sidra: Yea the Icelandic volcano erupted and I was devastated. I couldn’t speak to anybody, and I wasn’t supposed to go, and I went in July. It must’ve been serendipitous because ever since that July, my goal in life has been to get back to Paris. Everything I’ve done since that moment in time has propelled me to go back to Paris.
Cece: So you had 13 months to prepare?
Sidra: Yea, I had 13 months to prepare but I did it in 8.
Cece: And then so, when you made that decision in 8 months, that you’re going to moving back to paris at the time.?
Sidra: Right, I had made up my mind that I was going back after that trip in July 2010. That I was going to move back the next year; but it wasn’t until that January that I turned every single burner on. And I was just like how do we do this. Literally, how do we do this. My mother is French so the process for me is a lot easier, then a lot of other people. So I am at an advantage in the sense that having dual citizenship makes moving, the restriction much easier. An American, born in America with no foreign parents can not go live in France because they want to. They have to figure out how to do that. Luckily the French government is pretty, easy I think when it comes to Americans. I have friends that don’t have any other right except they wanted to move to France because they wanted to go to school and things like that. So its tedious but if you do all the work, you can do it.
Cece: Its possible
Sidra: Its completely possible. Nothing is impossible anyway. I don’t believe in the impossibility of things, we obviously can’t fly by ourselves.
Cece: You can fly with some help.
Sidra: Exactly, apart from physical restraints, about anything you set your mind to you can do.
Cece: So that first time how much did you save?
Sidra: I saved $12, 000. Which I blew through.
Cece: You didn’t blow through, it took you four years.
Sidra: It took me four years but money goes through quick.
Cece: It does, and unexpected expensive come up, you got mugged that one time.
Sidra: I got mugged, I had a really bad roommate who robbed me. Who completely had me paying 90% of the rent, and I just thought that was normal I didn’t know. Again, I’ve never lived with anyone outside of my family and no other person in the whole entire world has made me pay rent. What is rent? What does it do? Where do I get it from? How do I pay it? I know what rent is I know how to pay it but I’ve never had to do it before. So, I was completely blind sided by this person who took advantage.
Cece: Who took advantage…
Sidra: Who took advantage; and I don’t consider myself to be a naive person. I’m fairly clever, super street smart, I know how to handle myself; but when somebody wants your money they know how to handle you better. Then I met this really nice English family who had a room to rent in the 17th and the rest was history. I spent the last 3 1/2 years in that room. It was probably the best time of my life.
Cece: The one I stayed with you in?
Sidra: Yea, the shoe box. I haven’t even seen a room as small as it. I mean a whole apart was the size of a shoe closet but, it was perfect for me. I was a single person in Paris. I didn’t need much space. All of my clothes fit in there.
Cece: That’s true, all your shoes.
Sidra: All my clothes, all my shoes, and my nail polish fit so that was fine for me. It had a kitchenette area. I had a burner, it had a sink, a shower, a wifi. I was all set. It was a 116 stairs one way, yes I had buns of steal. Carrying the suitcases up and down those stairs was always bicep forming. But it was the best time of my life, I would never ever ever change that, even with having to leave to go to the toilet and things, I would never change that either. It is character developing. You don’t know you can do something until you push yourself. Even everything I’ve done, even if it may sound difficult or impossible for someone who has lived as cushioned of a life that I’ve lived, people live much worse, people have much less, and they don’t complain, so I wont either.
Sidra: I never complained about it. I just said this is a building block until we get to the next step. And when we get to the next step we’ll build from there. And that’s how I handled everything even moving back which felt like breaking down. Now, I see that I had to come back so that I could go again.
Cece: What was the decision to come back?
Sidra: Well the decision to come back was everything. Getting mugged, feeling lonely. It was the middle of the summer July in Paris is really lonely if you’re not in a relationship or you don’t have a family. Everybody is away.
Cece: Everyone’s on holiday
Sidra: Everyone on holiday. All my friends were away, and it was just like, I don’t want to do this right now. I don’t want to do this all by myself again. I think I was not in a good head space. Talking with my parents, the decision was why don’t I come back for a while. I didn’t think I was going to go back in a year. I thought it would take me at least two years to go back.
Cece: We were pushing, we thinking like 6 months, I was thinking 4 months.
Sidra: Ya, Cece was prepared to have me leave by January, there was no way I would be fiscally ready in four months. There are things I want to buy!
Cece: Sidra has a magic power where she will put things out in the universe and they will arrive
Sidra: Yes, they will find a way
Cece: They will show up in her possession.
Sidra: I have a mantra that I say to myself every day, and it is. Today is the day that you are going to triumph. And I look at myself in the mirror and I say it and I know it sounds completely nauseating but I say it to myself: Today is the day you’re going to triumph, nothing is going to stand in your way, every building block will fall away, today is the day you're going to triumph. And I repeat to myself like a psychopath 17 times, and I walk out the door. I walk out the door with my head held high, knowing that no matter what happens I have already conquered today. It is already in the stars that today is mine. I just live my life like that. Bad days good days, it doesn’t matter, every day you wake up is already a triumph, you’ve already conquered. You’ve conquered death so what else could there be that could defeat you.
Cece: Nothing better.
Sidra: So that’s just how I live my life. I put good thoughts into the universe about things I want things I desire, and the universe follows through. I believe that universe will follow through, what you give out is what you get in. I try to stay positive. I say I want that bag, I will have that bag by Christmas, and by Christmas I usually have it.
Cece: Your computer.
Sidra: My computer, my Marc Jacobs
Cece: Your phone
Sidra: My phone. I said I wanted all these things by Christmas, and before Christmas I had all of them.
Cece: When I was visiting in April, I said ok lets make this happen, and sure enough it did happen.
Sidra: Yes, again I just think if you put good thoughts out into the universe the universe will reward you. Its not even a reward, its just you getting the energy you put out there. Its like with everything, with exercise, and eating right, and dieting. If you put the effort in your body rewards you with the results. Its the same thing the same the same thought process. And I know my parents, and my brothers probably think I’m a psychopath, but it doesn’t really matter to me.
Cece: It doesn’t really matter what they think
Sidra: It doesn’t really matter to me what anyone else thinks of me because that’s none of my business. What you think of me is not my business, what I think of me is what matters.
Cece: Now we are 12 days out, and you are ready to go back?
Sidra: I am not ready to go back. I haven’t packed yet.
Cece: Besides backing and everything else, you’ve been saving?
Sidra: Yes, I’ve saved about $1,200 a month since February, and I have about $5,600 saved. Its not where I want to be but it is where I am right now. Its not the same situation. I’m going back into a job, and a different living situation. I won't have unexpected flare ups like people stealing my money. Hopefully, you know what I mean. I’ve already discussed me not paying rent with my very accommodating boyfriend. He’s willing to let me pay the taxes, and I’m fine with that. He’s like they’re 500 euro.
Cece: You’ve also paid for classes, and you’ve said for the flight, and those are all expenses that you’ve paid out of pocket for.
Sidra: Yes, I’ve spent over $3,000 just getting there again, and thats a lot of money.
Cece: That’s a lot of money.
Sidra: That’s a lot of money. I go to work every single day, nobody is giving it to me. You know, I earn it. I get up at 5:30 every morning to go to work, and I have a hard job where I have to listen to people ….
Cece: Let’s not talk about that (laughing). If you think about it you had $12,000 to last your for 4 years and this time you have $5,600 so I mean thats guaranteed to last you at least 2 1/2 years.
Sidra: That’s money I had to spend on rent, first month, last month. When I first moved to Paris I bought a phone and two months later, somebody pick pocketed my phone, and that’s hundreds of dollars that you have to spend that all over again. And money just adds up. And the things you don’t think you’re going to need money for.
Cece: You're working, and you eat, and you want a bottle of wine, it all adds up.
Sidra: And I lost, I mean, you lose a lot of money in conversion.
Cece: But the dollar is better now.
Sidra: The dollar is .91 cents to the euro. Thank you Greece. Angela Merkel. What a bailout!
Sidra: I always want the dollar strong because I’m an American citizen.
Cece: What about what you said to me, while you’re here in America you would like to support America, but while you’re in Europe.
Sidra: I agree with that. I believe in supporting whatever economy you're in. Give Cesear what belongs to Ceasar right. While I’m in America I buy American. While I’m in Europe I buy European, though 95% of my stuff comes from H & M. Go Sweden! What up!
Cece: Well, I will be missing you very much.
Sidra: Its very difficult to leave a part from, all the financial stuff, getting the paper work done, getting the authority to move abroad, apart from that its the emotional connections you make with people Like yourself, and other people that you meet, and you want to be friends forever, but like I said to you earlier, nothing shows you your value more than moving away.
Cece: More than the distance
Sidra: More than the distance. Nothing. You realize who your friends are. Again its character building, and you know where you stand in people lives. Some people are going to make the effort to talk to you, once a week, every week, some people are not. Its not a reflection on you, its not saying that a good person or a bad person, it just says where they are in their lives and what the could have given to you at that point and they no longer can. I think its ok in our human development to be ok with that as well.
Cece: And I agree. Is there anything else you’d like to add.
Sidra: No, I want sing the Marseilles for you guys. ( laughs)
Cece: Thank you for podcasting with me.
Sidra: Cool, not a problem anytime, I’ll do this from across the water.
Alright, so there we have it. I hope you’ve enjoyed this first episode of Sincerely Yours, I know that, hearing from myself, and hearing from Sidra, so inspirational that if you're looking for a change; there is hope out there. There are so many tools and resources out there that are so essential, into getting from one place to another. If you’re interested in being on the podcast please feel to contact me. I don’t have an email set up yet, but go ahead and find me on facebook. My first name is Cece Denno. Then of course if I get a twitter or an extra email I’ll see how this goes. I’ll leave update and I hope you enjoyed.